Lecture Chronicles

Seeing as 3 hour long lectures from 7-10 suck dick... T and I observe the other 800 students around us to pass the time.

So You Think You Can Dance Girl
In our first lecture of Psychology of Human Sexuality..we noticed a girl watching "so you think you can dance" on her laptop through the entire lecture. Then saw her doing it again the following week...and the one after that...and the one after that. We found ourselves wondering..Why? Why SYTYCD Girl? Why do you come to class? No internet or cable at home so you have to come to campus to stream the episodes?

The Token Middle-Aged Lady
There's one in EVERY class. And she's outspoken. Annoyingly outspoken. She's the keener in the front row who always has a useless comment to EVERYTHING. She thinks that just because she is old she can relate to the prof and that they'll be bffl and have side discussions that us youngins could never understand.

The Token Opinionated Kid That Thinks They're a Middle-Aged Lady
This student deserves to be called a kid no matter how old because they act like an annoying kid. Similar to the TMAL, they will have a useless comment to everything. The difference is that instead of commenting to try to relate to the prof, they comment to try to show off the large amount of information they have stored in their brains in place of the "normal, non-awakward, social standards" that everyone else has. Their comments are never useful and rarely relate directly to the lecture.

The Jackass You've Been Doin It With
You walk over to say hi when you see him in class but he's too cool to address you in public. He thinks you'll think that means he wants to date you, or that it's acceptable for people to know you've been talking pretty much every day and have been seeing each other about once a week for a year. No, in public you're just casual acquaintances. And even though you are sitting almost directly behind him, he'll msg you on msn or text you instead of turning around to talk to you.

The Lurker
This is the girl who is sitting not quite, but almost beside the JYBDIW. You know she thinks he's hot. She watches you say hi to him...watches you sit back down...gives you the once over...looks back at him...and continues to turn around to catch a glance of you multiple times throughout class. Especially when JYBDIW says something funny to you on msn and turns around to see if you're laughing too. She hates that. "Oh no they're bonding" she thinks, "he definitely likes her...they're definitely banging" And then she watches your goodbye. "Omg she took off his hat and touched his hair. That might as well have been a kiss. He'll never notice me..."

The Self-Obsessed Lurker
This is the girl sitting next to The Lurker. There's one in every class. Always. She is the one you'll see looking at facebook pictures all class...of herself. Enough said.

Nice Neck
He's the guy that has you going to your roommates lecture even though you're not actually in it. You make a point to sit behind him in every class so that you can stare and the back of his neck. It's a nice neck. Clean cut hair, strong, nice tan. The kind of neck you can picture yourself kissing forever. Until he turns around and catches you staring.

The Irritated Keener
The second you open your mouth to talk to your friend sitting next to you...they glance over and glare at you with laser death eyes. "HOW DARE YOU open your mouth while I'm trying to LEARN" they think as they laser you with their stare. And the second time you talk they stand up and storm to the other side of the room...oops.

The Hungry Dude
This person is always eating. Sometimes it's the yummiest smelling, tastiest looking, fast food. And you're always starving so you start plotting ways to subtly steal it from him. However, other times, he's eating something ethnic and super stinky. Not cool.

The Texter
No matter how big or small the lecture this person is tick tick texting away on their cell. Snickering at their friends' witty responses and ignoring the fact that the prof has been staring at them for the past ten minutes. And they always have an annoying ring tone too. At 9:30 on a Monday night no one wants to be jolted back into reality by ALL THE SINGLE LADIES! ALL THE SINGLE LADIES! suddenly blaring out of someone's cell.

The Top Speed IMer
The prof could be saying nothing of any use but this persons typing away top speed on msn. tickticktickticktickticktickticktick

The MacBook Pro User
Snazzy computer owning assholes. Spoiled little rich girls who don't even know what's so "pro" about it. "Graphic design? Whaaa?"

The Envious HP Owner
I hate my computer. We're the ones getting ready to throw our frozen-again-laptops at those stupid little MBP Users.

I'm sure there's more. So stay tuned,
S