Prequel To Part 1

Last night we went to a bar and experienced a range of the best and worst pick up tactics.

Exhibit A- “New York”

Guy who from now on will be known as “New York” pretty much swoops in from nowhere and appears at T’s side scaring the bejeezus out of us. New York goes on to tell us his whole life story. He lived in Germany, Russia AND New York! Wowee. Oh wait...we don’t care. Did I mention the speech impediment? The one he claims is a Russian accent? Or should say “Wussian”. A guy across the bar catches my eye and I nod my head towards New York and make an “Omg this guys a loser” face. Shortly after, New York says “oh sorry I’ve gotta go” and heads out of the bar with his friends...who also happen to be the guy I made the face at. Whoops!

Exhibit B- "Creepers"

So T and I head to the dance floor for a while. And let me tell you, it was definitely creepers’ night out. We take a couple pictures together and some old dudes come over and say “you can take a picture of us if you want” (see attached photo).

Exhibit C- "Tequila Boy"

As the night was drawing to a close, pretty much the coolest thing ever happened. As we were sitting in our booth taking pictures from really unflattering angles...it’s funny, hold the camera at about chest level pointing up and you get sexy, up-the-nose and triple-chin shots...a waitress comes over and gives us two shots of tequila. “Oh we didn’t...”-T “They’re from those guys right there (points at booth behind us)”-Waitress. No way right?! That kind of shit only happens on TV, oh wait, it also happens to me and T. What’s up, what’s up? That's the way to do it boys. So we take our free shots and continue with the unflattering, camera angles. A few minutes later, Tequila Boy taps my shoulder.

“Hey, do me a favour?”-Tequila Boy

“Sure”- S

“Tell my friend here if he doesn’t take this shot, he’s a pussy”-Tequila Boy

“Budd you better take this shot. Your friends think you’re a pussy”-S

So the guy still won’t take the shot and guess who takes it for him? Meeeeee!

Hence the hangover before the eyebrow waxing.

Until next time,

S